Saturday, 5 September 2009

This is a spade.

Today has been exceptionally rubbish by anyones standards. Upon dragging myself into work for the first dayback after my holidays I was greeted by the welcome of "have you heard who else is leaving?" There's been a mass exodus (well, granted, as much a feeling of as an exodus a months notice can envoke) from my place of work (*cough* lets call it HM...B?). Now, another two of my favourites have handed in their notices, leaving my nose distinctly out of joint; I'm not sure how they can do it so freely and I can't, although now the idea of leaving is becoming a lot easier. I was in a foul mood all day, so much so that a girl I work with, and don't have terribly much else in common, told me to tell them I was ill so I could go home because "I looked so sad". Not content with depressing the hell out of the building I also went on an extreme rant when in reply to "I wish all my friends weren't leaving" my boss said "don't worry Emma, it's probably no consolation but I'm not going anywhere." I'm going to need to keep my head down for a while.

The second, possibly more soul destroying portion of my day is documented in my notebook and on various untitled notebook entries on the computer. I'm writing some very difficult things at the minute, the victory of head over a capricious heart. Instead of actually sending them though I've just had them lying open for hours, doodling in margins or re-wording until my brain can take no more. In fact, of all the things I have written today intended for other people, I have only sent one of them, another one it is necessary I will send, the others will probably get lost in the dark recesses of my bag until I find them in a few months, read back over them, and remark "Jesus, what a twat am I!" I just need to send this necessary one and it will be a weight off my shoulders in one respect, and a crashing elephant on my chest in another. It's for the greater good, my Benthamide-self would be proud!

Finally, I got asked to do a review a couple of days ago, it was one of the most difficult ones I've ever done (which is saying something because my inhability to write coherently means every review is a struggle), I just didn't like that kind of music at all, and it was the band who requested the review! Anyway, I did it and very timidly sent it away, I heard back from the band today who luckily sent a very nice response saying they thought it was a very measured response from someone who admitted they didn't find any redeeming qualities in that particular music genre. This is all really just an excuse to say they called me a good writer!! Yay! I was properly chuffed! And it never rains but it pours with reviewing. I got asked earlier today to go a gig review tomorrow, I'm still in two minds over whether I'll do it or not, but I'm so happy to be asked because I thought the particular site that it will be for hated me! Alas, chances are I'm not going to be able to do the review, my social abilities have depleted back to zero the past few days, but still, it's nice to be asked.

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